Thursday, 2 June 2016

Practice Essay Year 9 Selp

Student’s Name:_____________________________________________________________


Circle your teacher’s name:               Mrs Attard                   Mr Munro                   Mrs Xevgenis


WERRIBEE SECONDARY COLLEGE
SEMESTER 1, 2016

YEAR 9 EXAMINATION

SELP ENGLISH

Wednesday 8th of June, 2016
1.15 pm – 3.00pm

Reading Time:                         10 minutes                                
Writing Time:                         85 minutes
Total Marks:                           40 marks


This Exam consists of 3 pages

INSTRUCTIONS TO STUDENTS:

l         Complete Section 1 and section 2
l         Plan your work carefully. Edit your work and use all the time available.     
l         Use a blue or a black pen, not a lead pencil.
l         Write on one side of the lined paper provided. Place these into the exam paper for collection.
l         You may use a dictionary, but not a thesaurus. You may not share your dictionary. No notes or text books are allowed.





SECTION ONE – TEXT RESPONSE                                                       50% of grade

Write an analytical essay of no less than 600 words in response to one of the questions.



SECTION TWO – LANGUAGE ANALYSIS                                            50% of grade  

Write a language analysis essay (which includes an introduction and two body paragraphs and a conclusion) in response to the source provided.      
                       






SECTION ONE – TEXT RESPONSE                                                       (20 MARKS)


Choose one of the topics below.

Write a carefully constructed essay of no less than 600 words in response to the chosen topic.

Remember to include specific examples from the film and quotations to support your ideas.


TOPICS

'Well I'm not going to stand around and let them do what they want, I say we fight'

What is the importance of conflict within Stuart Beattie's Tomorrow When the War Began?


OR


Growth and development are central to Stuart Beattie's Tomorrow When the War Began. Do you agree?

 or























SECTION TWO – LANGUAGE ANALYSIS                                                          (20 marks)

Write a language analysis essay (which includes an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion) in response to the following source.

Background Information
Following the hunting of a famous lion ‘Cecil’ by an American dentist the issue of whether or not the hunting of animals should be allowed has been discussed. Those who promote the practice of hunting suggest that the practice is tied to tradition and honour, and provides a source of income to many in impoverished nations. Those against the hunting suggest that it is a barbaric practice that threatens our existence as a society and prevents sustainable sources of income from being maintained.

The hunter who killed Cecil the lion doesn’t deserve our empathy
Rose George                                                                                   www.theguardian.com     July 29, 2015
Trophy hunters like Walter J Palmer shouldn’t receive death threats – but there is no excuse for their argument that hunting serves conservation
We love a good fight, don’t we? Enter Walter J Palmer, a tanned dentist from Minnesota, with a bow and arrow. Along comes Cecil the lion, the alpha male of his pride, minding his own business being the best-known and most beloved lion in Zimbabwe if not in Africa, as well as the subject of an Oxford University study. Then Cecil is shot with a bow and arrow, taking 40 hours to die, all because Palmer thought killing a magnificent animal was sporty.
I read the story of Cecil’s killing and my education and intellect deserted me for a minute. I felt only disgust and rage, somewhat inarticulately. I feel no calmness about big-game hunters. I am not persuaded by their justifications, which can be easily punctured with buckshot. Trophy hunting contributes to conservation, they say: when the Dallas Safari Club auctioned the right to kill an endangered Namibian black rhino, it said the $350,000 winning bounty – they called it a “bid” – went towards conservation efforts in Namibia. There are only 5,000 black rhinos left.
The population of African lions has been reduced by 50% in the last three decades, says the International Fund for Animal Welfare, and there are now only 32,000. Elephants, leopards, polar bears and giraffes are all hunted for “sport” too. Shooting an endangered species and calling it sustainable is like waving a fan and thinking you’re helping to stop global warming.
In April, after Ricky Gervais tweeted a picture of the blonde, pretty Rebecca Francis lying next to a dead giraffe she had just shot, the internet went ape. Arguably, it went more ape than it would have if she hadn’t been female, and you can find plenty of earnest essays about how women have the right to be big-game hunters without getting an online hounding. I don’t care what gender she was. I care that afterwards, she declared that she had done a good thing. The giraffe was elderly, she wrote, and was going to die soon. By shooting him, she had honoured his life by making his body useful to locals: his tail could make jewellery and his bones could make “other things”. “I’m no game biologist,” she wrote, but “there is no question that hunters contribute the most to the welfare of wildlife.”
Follow this argument further and you reach the reasoning that poaching and trafficking do more harm than big-game hunting. True. Wildlife trafficking is worth $7-10bn, and is the fifth most profitable illegal market worldwide. Yet in many countries where poaching is rampant, policing is patchy and punishment often nothing more than a fine. Yes, poaching is more damaging than trophy hunting. Murder is worse than grievous bodily harm, technically, but I’m comfortable strongly objecting to both.
But violently objecting to hunters can be almost as bad as hunting. Most public displays of big-game hunting attract fury and sometimes death threats, as Palmer has been subjected to since his identity was revealed. The fact that African countries such as Namibia and Zimbabwe sell licences to shoot their own big game gets less attention.
Palmer is said to be “quite upset,” but only because he got the wrong lion. He blamed his guides for this, rather than his own bizarre and repellent desire to augment his own self-worth (somewhat damaged, now, by a campaign to shut down his dental practice) by killing another creature. Francis was compelled to release a statement saying that she “couldn’t understand how people who claim to be so loving and caring for animals can turn around and threaten to murder and rape my children.”
Let’s not turn Palmer and Francis into trophies too, repugnant though their actions are. I don’t want to understand them or empathise. I’d rather not attempt to comprehend the inexplicable act that is the murder of animals for fun. But trophy hunting is about something bigger than that: an assumption that all animals are at our service, and ignoring the fact that we are just clever animals too.
Here is a product of my superior animal brain: a plan. If you’re going to pay $50,000 towards conservation efforts by shooting a lion, then give the money and don’t shoot. Preserving life, by killing fewer animals – now that would be worth a trophy.

Tuesday, 24 May 2016

Language Analysis Planning Sheet

The following sheet can be used to plan a Language Analysis Essay

Introduction

Context and the Issue
T-Text Details
C-Contention

A-Audience
T-Tone and its effect on the intended reader

Due to an increase (outline what has sparked the issue) the issue of whether or not (outline issue) has been raised in the media lately. In (author)’s article (article title) written in the (publication title) on (publication date) it is contended that (outline contention)(author’s surname) employs a (describe tone) tone to encourage (intended reader) to (outline effect of the tone on the reader)

Body Paragraph 1

Sentence 1: Outline the first argument employed by the author to support their contention

Sentence 2-4: Analyse a how the author opens their piece.
  1. What device do they use?
  2. Quote how it is used
  3. What is the effect on the reader?
Sentence 5-7: Analyse a persuasive technique the author employs
  1. What technique do they use?
  2. Quote how it is used
  3. What is the effect on the reader?
Sentence 8-10: Analyse persuasive language the author employs
  1. What type of language do they use?
  2. Quote how it is used
  3. What is the effect on the reader?
Body Paragraph 2

Sentence 1: Outline the second argument employed by the author to support their contention

Sentence 2-4: Analyse how the tone changes within the piece
  1. How does the tone shift?
  2. Quote an example
  3. What is the effect on the reader?
Sentence 5-7: Analyse a persuasive technique the author employs
  1. What technique do they use?
  2. Quote how it is used
  3. What is the effect on the reader?
Sentence 8-10: Analyse a persuasive technique the author employs
  1. What technique do they use?
  2. Quote how it is used
  3. What is the effect on the reader?
Body Paragraph 3

Sentence 1: Outline the third argument employed by the author to support their contention

Sentence 2-4: Analyse a persuasive technique the author employs
  1. What technique do they use?
  2. Quote how it is used
  3. What is the effect on the reader?
Sentence 5-7: Analyse a persuasive technique the author employs
  1. What technique do they use?
  2. Quote how it is used
  3. What is the effect on the reader?

Sentence 8-10: Analyse a how the author closes their piece.
  1. What device do they use?
  2. Quote how it is used
  3. What is the effect on the reader?
Conclusion
  1. Restate the author’s contention
  2. Outline the author’s intention
  3. Suggest how the reader could be left feeling.

Sunday, 22 May 2016

Sample Body Paragraph #1: Hijacked for Sport

Munners argues that profiting from ANZAC day cheapens its legacy. By sarcastically referring to match day calling of players as 'modern day warriors' Munners emphasizes the ridiculousness of associating footballers with real life soldiers. By comparing the on field exploits of footballers, to the real 'bloody battlefield' sacrifices of Anzac soldiers Munners illustrates how the comparison cheapens the image of the Anzac soldier. This positions readers to see how the Anzac legend is damaged by profiteering corporations. Munners also uses emotive language when suggesting that 'a little part of me dies.' By using these emotive terms Munners is attempting to play on the readers morality, faith in Australia and emotional connection to the Anzacs. Munners encourages Australian's to feel guilty for the Anzac's legacy being damaged, encouraging readers to take action to prevent further destruction of the Anzac spirit.

Thursday, 19 May 2016

Article 5: Hijacked by sport

Hijacked by sport


Since when did Anzac Day become an Anzac weekend starting on April 23? Answer: when one of Australia's biggest businesses decided to hijack it for its own profitable gain. Shame AFL, shame.

When broadcasters refer to the players as ‘modern day warriors,’ comparing them to soldiers sacrificing them themselves on bloody battlefields a little part of me dies.

Anzac Day should be ceremonially, honourably and respectfully celebrated on one day. A day of remembrances, of honour and of tributes to the young lives that made our country great.

The memory and deaths of these young loves should stand alone. They should not be profited from. Should not be monopolised. Should not be exploited.

Extending it for your own capitalist reasons, in the name of sport, is unethical, un-Australian, and an utter disgrace.

Teddy Munners, Blackburn North

Sunday, 8 May 2016

Article #4: Gorging The Innocent

Gorging the Innocent, Herald Sun, 16/4/14
To the editor,
I was a McDonalds Manager for 8 years. Once a little girl, and by little I mean youthful, got stuck in the Mc Happy land slide. I spent 30 mins trying to pull her backwards up the slide while her parents sat eating fries down below. How have we let our youth get to this stage? How have the waist lines of our future grown so large? As a society we need to be protecting the health and future of our children by sending them healthy eating messages that will serve them well for the rest of their lives.
 The health and wellbeing of our children are being put at risk by society’s addiction to junk food, when they see us gorging ourselves to death they say, ‘me too.’ Parents need to be vigilant; cheeseburgers, coke and chips do not constitute balance, we need to instil healthy and sustainable eating habits in our children.  If we don’t we are condemning our future to a lifetime of obesity: no six year old should get stuck in a Macca’s slide.

Sam Coleridge, Devonshire

Article #3: School Life Just Became More Fruitful


Article #2: Why I won't be travelling to Indonesia

Why I won't be travelling to Indonesia

OPINION: This morning Australia woke to the news Indonesia had killed two men. An artist and a minister. A brother and a son. Friends, lovers, a husband, drug smugglers. 
Today, the country is in shock and many people don’t know what to feel. Some are angry, some are sad. Some are calling for a boycott and some believe they got what they deserve.
All I know is that I won’t be going to Indonesia.
As many people held vigils and made videos in the days leading up to their execution, I felt frustration at the outpouring of emotion that ultimately didn’t prevent their deaths.
I wanted to do something, anything, that would hit Indonesia where it hurts and make President Widodo realise the death penalty is not OK



Today as the Prime Minister Tony Abbott and Foreign Minister Julie Bishop announced they wouldrecall Australia’s ambassador to Indonesia, social media is filled with calls to boycott the country and cut the $650 million aid budget — something Ms Bishop said would be left to May to decide.
For me, it’s not about cutting aid. I don’t want people in need to suffer or those who rely on tourism to be forced to close their doors. But I do want people in Australia and Indonesia to realise their actions can force governments to change.
Overnight, Filipina woman Mary Jane Veloso, 30, was spared the death penalty. The single mother of two had been convicted of drug smuggling but maintained her innocence — claiming she was exploited by traffickers en route to a job as a maid in a case that captured the hearts of the Indonesian public.
While her 11th hour reprieve was due to someone coming forward in her case, — which her lawyers argue is a case of human trafficking rather than drug trafficking — who knows how much of an impact the publicity had in encouraging them to speak out?

There’s no doubt governments respond to public pressure. We’ve seen it in Peter Dutton’s indication he would review the Tyrone Sevilla case after a petition with thousands of signatures asking for him to be granted a visa to stay in Australia. We’ve seen it in the US where legislatorswere forced to change a law after a backlash from major companies and celebrities over fears it could mean businesses would deny service to homosexuals on religious grounds.
In this case, President Widodo has remained deaf to calls from leaders from Australia and other nations. Pleas from family members and an unprecedented call from Ban Ki Moon, the secretary-general of the UN, couldn’t move him. Perhaps next time, he might listen.
Some say Sukumaran and Chan broke the law, knew the penalty and deserve their fate. That drugs hurt families and there’s no doubt they do. But two wrongs don’t make a right.
Killing on top of killing doesn’t mean salvation. It ignores their obvious rehabilitation, the complex elements that make up a person and means they’re forever defined by something they once did.
It’s not something that should happen to anyone. It’s not worth being put to death. And it’s certainly not worth a cheap ticket to Bali.
Rest in peace.

Article #1: Policy Shames Us All


Wednesday, 4 May 2016

(10/2) Mini Articles #1

Article #1

Swim-Dive-Live,, Werribee Times, 16/3/2016
Dive like a tiger shark, swim like you’re free.
My family and I love to swim. So the news that Werribee outdoor pool is to close is a kick to the guts.
Outdoor pools provide a sense of community, a form of exercise and a welcome relief on hot summer days. They must be protected.
Some of my fondest memories are of eating cornetto’s and Doritos around a local pool. It’s an Aussie tradition that must be protected.
Now more than ever society is increasingly pushed indoors by electronics that monopolise our attention, the pool is our last semblance of outdoor recreation and freedom.
Wyndham City Council must realise we will not go away. The swim WILL live on.
Nick Joshua, Teacher

Article #2

Our Land  is Girt by a Wild Lawless Sea          1/1/2011
To the editor of the Herald Sun,


I call on all Australians to protect our way of life. A way of life that is being threatened by illegal pirates and mooching human cargo. My tax dollars shouldnt go to funding the exorbitant whims of boat people who are increasingly becoming a scourge on our society. My job and indeed no Aussie job should be sacrificed so a two-buck immigrant can be given a fair go. We live in the lucky country. Lets keep it that way.

Andrew Charles
Werribee, Father

Article #3

12 year old betting bandits

To the editor,
I was watching the footy with my son the other day when he tells me the Pies are gonna win becauseBetsport has them at $1.58 and that we should put 100 bucks on them to pay for dinner. When did the financial interests of unethical betting houses trump the rights and future of our children? When does the exploitation stop? When does the governments financial reliance end? It seems like the only interest that isnt being considered is our children. Who will repay for the lives, families and financial future destroyed by this government cash grab? The onus is on the government and the consequence of not acting now will be a future of forgotten morals, family violence and entrenched poverty. We need to put a stop to betting during sports so that children, our future doesnt grow up thinking betting on sports is normal. Lets not promote a culture of addiction.

Joshua Douglas, 4/5/2012
Werribee, Father

Article #4

Anzac Day Shame, Herald Sun, 28/4/2016
I was at the MCG on Anzac Day and what I witnessed from some members of our youth was deplorable and disgusting. At the final notes of the last post, young men in my vicinity yelled.
“GO THE f#@$%^ PIES”
Now as a bombers supporter I understand that we can’t hold Collingwood supporters to the same standard as the rest of us but some respect please.
Anzac Day must be held as a day of respect and a day of remembrance. My great uncle fought and died at Gallipoli and I think one day of reflection and respect is the least he could expect for his sacrifice.
So lets demand no Anzacs in Macca’s ads, no jokes about Anzac ghosts and no profiteering vultures.
These men fought for us. You. Me. EVERYONE. The deserve our respect for protecting our country. So rather then yell obscenities in a moment self absorption think about the sacrifice.
Lest we forget

Hector Charles, Self proclaimed representative of the people of Australia

Tuesday, 3 May 2016

(9/2) Writing Kick-Arse Intro's- LA edition



The blog should be approached as two sections. The first explains how to use ITACT to identify everything we need to write a LA Intro. The second explores how we can use the scaffolds, break them and put them back together as a kick-arse introduction. 

SECTION 1


Scaffolds For Writing An Language Analysis Introduction

Below is a very basic scaffolds that can be used to write a language analysis introduction. It merely provides an outline and template that can be used to write your introduction, you simply need to fill in the gaps.

Note: This is a very basic template that provides you the scaffolds to achieve a satisfactory mark. It is in NO way the only way to write an introduction and it will be expected that you experiment with this template in order later years in order to bring increased complexity to your writing.

Introduction Scaffolds

Due to an increase (outline what has sparked the issue) the issue of whether or not (outline issue) has been raised in the media lately. In (author)’s article(article title) written in the (publication title) on (publication date) it is contended that (outline contention)(author’s surname) employs a (describe tone) tone to encourage (intended reader) to (outline effect of the tone on the reader).

If there is an image you need to introduce it as well





To do this you need to…

·         Include an outline of the image

·         The contention, intended audience and tone if they differ from the primary article.

Introduction Scaffolds

When an image is present the scaffolds are revised to...

Due to an increase (outline what has sparked the issue) the issue of whether or not (outline issue) has been raised in the media lately. In (author)’s article(article title) written in the (publication title) on (publication date) it is contended that (outline contention). (author’s surname) employs a (describe tone) tone to encourage (intended reader) to (outline effect of the tone on the reader). Accompanying (authors) article is an (image/cartoon/graph). The image shows(Describe image), contending that (outline contention of image.)

 

Sample #1

Due to an increase in youth obesity the issue of whether societies attitude to food has lead to increased incidence of youth obesity has recently been discussed in the media. In Sam Coleridge's letter to the editor 'Gorging The Innocent' written in the Herald Sun on the 4th April contends that the poor food messages propagated by society has lead to increased incidence of childhood obesity. Coleridge employs an impassioned tone to position parentsand teachers to reflect on their own children and the impact such messages are having on their own children's health. Accompanying Coleridge’s article is animage. The image shows a family that are all clearly overweight feasting on fast food. The image makes the association between parents eating habits and childhood obesity contending that parents need to place a greater emphasis on ensuring their children grow up in a healthy manner. The image employs anattacking aggressive tone to appeal to a families sense of dedication to their family.
 
  

(8/2) The Tone of it ALL + Tone Bank

The following blog explores the idea of tone in pieces of writing, how to identify and analyse tone and a tone bank that is a list of tone words.


What is TONE?

In our everyday lives we are aware of people using a tone of voice to vary their meaning and how their discussion comes across. Everyone understands the use to tone of voice when it is someone speaking. Within persuasive pieces the author will always write their piece with a certain tone in order to establish the feeling or emotion in the piece. The different with the written work (as opposed to the spoken) is that we aren't provided with spoken cues and facial expression to assist us with identifying what the tone is. The written tone can be hard to identify. One if the best techniques to assist you with this is 'reading the article in your head, or out loud if possible to distinguish tone and imaging someone else speaking the words to imagine how it would be spoken.

The lucky thing with tone is that, as long as your assertion is reasonable you cant be wrong


within the language analyse essay the tone represents an opportunity to show off your ability to analyse

Examples of identifying tone

examples of analysing tone

(7/2) What on earth is CITCAT???



When talking CITCAT we are talking INTRODUCTIONS. CITCAT is essentially a checklist of everything you need to demonstrate when writing an introduction.

Introductions
In an introduction you are being assessed on the following 5 skills.
  • Do you understand the issue and its context?
  • Can you identify the text and its details?
  • Can you demonstrate an understanding and analyse the authors contention?
  • Do you understand and can you communicate the author’s intended audience
  • Can you identify the author’s tone and how it might affect the intended audience?

So how does CITCAT relate?

CITCAT is a check list of these skills and provides a way to remember what you need to demonstrate in your INTRODUCTION.

Context and the Issue
T-Text Details
C-Contention

A-Audience
T-Tone and its effect on the intended reader

Lastly…

This is the key to high level responses and greater complexity…

  • It is important that you are demonstrating an understanding of the article and the issue. Show me that you understand the issue and what the author’s opinion and writing tone is.      
  • Remember you are not showing me that you can read or hold an opinion on the article or issue.
  • You shouldn’t simply mention CITCAT you need to SHOW AN UNDERSTANDING of CITCAT as well. You are showing a mastery of your skill in identification and analysis.

Just a little note: CITCAT should only be discussed once in a LA essay, in the introduction: remember you are introducing your understanding of the article and your only introduce once!!! 

(6/2) Identifiying Issues 101


Overview 

An issue is something that can be debated, they will always have two sides. If you can't establish two sides they're can be a debate. When you express your understanding of the issue you need to identify and communicate the notion of their being two sides.


The easiest way to do this is through "a whether or not" statement. Such a statement is by no means revolutionary but it will get the job done.


Whether or NOT


By saying whether or not you are establishing two sides. Whether you side with my opinion or you NOT. Two sides makes on issue. To use a 'whether or not' statement you begin with...
 
'The issue of whether or not... has been discussed in the media lately.'
 
But that's not all
 
The words 'Gay Marriage' are not an issue statement, nor is the statement 'The issue of Gay Marriage,' or 'Whether or not gay marriage' you must be very clear when establishing that their are two sides to the issue. None of the previous statements established that there are two sides of the issue. Two sides that someone could argue. You need to ask yourself, what is it about 'Gay Marriage that makes it an issue?'. A quality response to this question shows that you understand the complexities and intricacies of the issue.
 
What is it about 'Gay Marriage that makes it an issue?'
 
1) Is it whether it should be allowed?
 
2) Is it whether we should change our laws?
 
3) Is it whether we need to be more accepting?
 
As a matter of fact either of the above could make on issue, they just need to be expressed in an appropriate manner.
 
1) 'The issue of whether or not gay marriage should be allowed within Australian society has been discussed in the media lately
 
2) 'The issue of whether or not gay marriage should be legalised by the Australian Government has been discussed in the media lately.'
 
3) 'Whether or not we as Australians should be more accepting of gay marriage has been discussed in the media lately.'
 
Your task is to prove you understand the issue and the article (this is not something I can show you, it comes through practice) but demonstrating the successful communication of a 'Whether or NOT.'
 
Context

In the introduction you should also include the context, this could also be referred to as the author's intention or the spark.

This is essentially demonstrating an understanding of why the issue is being discussed in the media.

  • This could be due to an increase in something...

  • This could be because a law is being introduced...

  • This could be because a newsworthy event occurred...

Irrespective of why an article has been written you can phrase the context in the following way...

Due to an (Outline increase/introduction/event) the issue of... (Whether or Not statement)

Example Context+Issue

Due to a visit from the royal family the issue of whether or not Australia should become a republichas been discussed in the media lately. 

Due to an increase in childhood obesity the issue of whether or not society needs to address the incidence of childhood obesity has been discussed in the media lately